101+ of the Greatest Golf Jokes

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Golf isn’t all about severe enterprise – it’s additionally a sport that lends itself to some hilarious jokes.

Golf is a sport that may be loved by individuals of all ages and skills. It’s a good way to get exterior and spend a while with mates, and it’s additionally a difficult sport that may present loads of competitors. However when you’re on the lookout for a couple of laughs, try this assortment of the funniest golf jokes round. You’re certain to take pleasure in them!

ENJOY ALL the perfect GOLF Jokes

  1. What must you do in case your spherical of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm? Stroll round holding your 1-iron above your head, as a result of even Mom Nature can’t hit a 1-iron.
  2. There are 3 ways to enhance your golf sport: take classes, follow continually… or begin dishonest.
  3. What’s the simplest shot in golf? Your fourth putt.
  4. The place can you discover 100 docs all on the identical place on any given day? A golf course!
  5. What’s the distinction between a golfer and a fisherman? When a golfer lies, he doesn’t need to convey something dwelling to show it.
  6. Why do golfers hate cake? As a result of they could get a slice.
  7. I shot one underneath at golf right this moment. One underneath a tree, one underneath a bush and one underneath the water.
  8. Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, they’re offered by the dozen, and per week later you must purchase some extra.
  9. When is it too moist to play golf? When your golf cart capsizes.
  10. Golf obtained its identify as a result of all the different four-letter phrases had been taken.
  11. Sooner or later a participant requested his coach: “What goes incorrect with my sport?” “You’re standing too near the ball after you’ve hit it.”
  12. Why do golf execs let you know to maintain your head down throughout classes? So you’ll be able to’t see them laughing.
  13. What’s a golfer’s favourite chicken? Any birdie will do.
  14. Did you hear in regards to the two guys that met on the golf course? It was the start of a phenomenal friend-chip.
  15. What number of golfers does it take to vary a lightbulb? Fore.
  16. What’s the distinction between a G-spot and a golf ball caught within the tough? Guys will spend not less than 5 minutes on the lookout for a golf ball.
  17. Why do golfers at all times carry a spare pair of trousers with them? In case they get a gap in a single.
  18. What’s a golfer’s worst nightmare? The Bogeyman.
  19. What are a golfer’s favourite flowers? Fore-get Me Nots.
  20. Why did the golfer have to vary his socks? As a result of he had a gap in a single.
  21. The place are you able to discover a golfer on a Saturday evening? Clubbing.
  22. What’s a golfer’s favourite dance transfer? The Bogey.
  23. Why did Tarzan spend a lot time on the golf course? He was perfecting his swing.
  24. “What did you get in your final gap?” “Depressed.”
  25. Why didn’t the golfer get his homework carried out? He was puttering round.
  26. Golf can greatest be outlined as an countless collection of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
  27. Golfers who attempt to make every thing excellent earlier than taking the shot, not often make the proper shot.
  28. Have you ever ever questioned how the moon obtained craters? Three phrases: Chuck Norris {golfing}.
  29. The place do ghouls and ghosts play their golf? On a golf corpse.
  30. Why does Sir-Combine-a-Lot at all times chip the ball away from the flagstick? He likes large putts and he can not lie.
  31. What does a golfer like to listen to from his spouse? “Discuss birdie to me.”
  32. What do you name a wizard that may flip himself right into a golf membership? Harry Putter.
  33. What do golfers do on their days off? Putter round.
  34. Why does the golf professional let you know to maintain your head down throughout classes? So you’ll be able to’t see them laughing.
  35. What are the first elements of a golfer’s eating regimen? A whole lot of greens and water.
  36. Why was Cinderella such a horrible golfer? Her coach was a pumpkin.
  37. What do you name a monkey who wins the Masters? The chimpion!
  38. What ought to NASA do if it needs to discover water on Mars? Ship a golfer there to hit a golf ball.
  39. Why do golf announcers whisper? As a result of they don’t need to get up the individuals watching.
  40. Which actress is unbelievable at golf? Minnie Driver.
  41. What did Nat King Cole sing after he gained a spherical of golf? Un-fore-gettable, in each approach.
  42. What did the motive force yell on the golf cart that reduce him off? Kiss my putt.
  43. What did the signal above the golf membership bar say? “Don’t drink and drive. Don’t even putt.”
  44. What’s the distinction between a rock climber and a golfer? A golfer goes: whack! “Shit!” A climber goes: “Shit!” whack!
  45. Why didn’t the golfer say something earlier than he hit the ball off the tee? He was at a loss fore phrases.
  46. What do you name a extremely pleasant golfer? A social putterfly.
  47. An attention-grabbing factor about golf is that irrespective of how badly you play, it’s at all times doable to worsen.
  48. Golf is a sport invented by God to punish individuals who retire early.
  49. The one factor that causes extra dishonest than golf is revenue taxes.
  50. Golf can greatest be outlined as an countless collection of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
  51. Are you certain you aren’t all 4 majors? Since you’d be a grand slam!
  52. If I hit it proper, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.
  53. What’s one tip all golfers ought to comply with to enhance their sport? Return in time and begin taking part in at a youthful age.
  54. In golf, you’ll be able to hit a 2-acre fairway 10-percent of the time, however hit a 2-inch department 90-percent of the time.
  55. What did Chamillionaire say when he got here in a stroke underneath par? “Tryna catch me ridin’ birdie!”
  56. The sport of golf is 90-percent psychological and 10-percent psychological.
  57. Why don’t grasshoppers play golf? They like cricket higher.
  58. Golfer: The physician says I can’t play golf. Caddie: Oh, he’s performed with you, too, eh?
  59. Why does the temperature on the course rise after a protracted match ends? All of the followers are gone!
  60. Which professional golfers can bounce increased than the flag? All of them…. the flag can’t bounce…
  61. Why are computer systems such naturally good golfers? They’ve a tough drive.
  62. The issue along with your sport is your loft. My loft? Lack Of Freaking Expertise.
  63. I’m not over the hill. I’m simply on the again 9.
  64. What did the golfer say to the hip-hop dancer? Each day I’m Schauffele.
  65. Golfers aren’t completely satisfied except they’re teed off!
  66. How are you aware a golfer is dishonest on his spouse? He at all times places his driver within the incorrect bag.
  67. What do you name a lion taking part in golf? Roarin’ Mcllroy
  68. Did you hear that Subway is opening a mini-golf course at a few of their eating places? I attempted it out, nevertheless it wasn’t superb. It was sub-par.
  69. Who’s the perfect particular person on the golf course to get to make espresso? The groundskeeper!
  70. I’m not a nasty putter, I simply can’t catch a break.
  71. How’s golf like fishing? Each mysteriously encourage exaggeration.
  72. What kind of golf sport did the fur merchants play within the outdated days? A skins match.
  73. Are you a scratch golfer? Sure I certain am, after every shot I scratch my head and surprise the place my ball went.
  74. You made an 11 on a par 3? How on earth did that occur? I chipped in from the tough.
  75. Dangerous at golf? Be a part of the membership.
  76. What did Obi Wan say to Luke Skywalker earlier than he went out for his spherical of golf? Might the fores be with you Luke.
  77. You spend an excessive amount of time interested by golf! Do you even bear in mind the day we obtained married? After all I do! It was the identical day I sank that 45-foot putt.
  78. A golfer is standing at a tee overlooking a river. He sees a few fishermen and says to his accomplice, “Have a look at these two idiots fishing within the rain.”
  79. How do you want my sport? Oh, it’s an incredible sport, however personally, I want golf.
  80. For those who golf on election day, make certain to forged an absent-tee-ballot.
  81. It’s not your fault you missed that shot. It should have been the crap connected to the tip of your membership.
  82. What’s the best strategy to hook a ball? Attempt to slice it
  83. Why couldn’t Cinderella play golf? As a result of she at all times runs away from the ball
  84. What did one golf ball say to a different golf ball? See you spherical
  85. The place do golfers go on their date? The golf ball
  86. Why couldn’t Tiger take heed to music? As a result of he broke all the information
  87. Why isn’t golf performed within the jungle? As a result of there are too many cheetahs
  88. You suppose my {golfing} is bettering? Sure, you miss loads nearer now
  89. What’s a golfer’s favourite letter? Tee.
  90. It takes fore golfers to vary a lightbulb.
  91. Golf is what you play once you’re too off form to play softball.
  92. The one factor that causes extra dishonest than golf is revenue taxes.
  93. Golf is an costly approach of taking part in marbles.
  94. To some golfers, the best handicap is the flexibility so as to add appropriately.
  95. Why did Hitler cease taking part in Golf? He saved getting caught within the Bunker
  96. A hacker was taking part in so badly that his caddie was getting more and more exasperated. On the eleventh, his ball lay about 160 yards from the inexperienced and as he eyed up the shot, he requested his caddie, “Do you suppose I can get there with a 4-iron?” “Finally,” replied the caddie, wearily.
  97. A man on trip finishes his spherical, goes into the clubhouse. The top professional says, “Did you might have an excellent time on the market?” The person replied, “Fabulous, thanks.” “You’re welcome,” stated the professional. “How did you discover the greens?” Mentioned the person: “Simple. I simply walked to the tip of the fairways and there they had been!”
  98. Golfer to caddie: “Why do you retain taking a look at your watch? I discover it very distracting.” Caddie: “It’s not a watch, sir – it’s a compass.”
  99. The issue with gradual teams is that they’re at all times in entrance of you, and the quick teams are at all times behind you.
  100. There’s no sport like golf: you exit with three mates, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
  101. Golf is loads like taxes… you go for the inexperienced and are available out within the gap.
  102. The person who takes up golf to get his thoughts off his work quickly takes up work to get his thoughts off golf.

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